Self Portrait (2022)

Material: Colored Pencil

Surface: Illustration Board

Life is filled with constant reconstruction, we retool ourselves constantly.

In an attempt of self reflection. I strived to make a piece that represents me in many ways, to me this is my self portrait. Semiotically, I wanted the dark indigo hole to be the focal point. The piece had to be unnerving but also suck the viewer in. This is why I picked a very hot yet cold magenta, it invites and unsettles the viewer. It’s dense texture and sheen look like blood but not quite. The black hole, the unknown future versus the magenta representing all aspects of the self.

The content of the piece represents a body of knowledge in an abstract manner. Specifically disassociation.  More importantly, memories. Some shine brighter than others and remain, others stick and clump, harder to dissipate. Others, minute and fade away with ease. The sense of self is decaying as well as the relationships between the self and others. They crack, fracture, and eventually fade away. If you met a younger version of yourself, would you be the exact same? Would you see eye to eyes. What about within the context of mental turmoil, many people can distinctly remember when they felt happy and the precise moment when it all fell off. Experience can create and build up people, but in reality, it's the devastating experiences that challenge the psyche and dismantle the self.

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